Lately I've been thinking of getting rid of facebook. I feel like the only reason I really keep it is to put up pictures of the kids for my mom. I am just over all the ugliness. Facebook is wonderful, wonderful for keeping in touch and staying connected to people. But I hate how mean people can be.
I hate what I see as "mommy wars". I have one friend that posts a blog about how she doesn't care she's the mean mom. And then another friend posts an article about how you don't need to be the mean mom for your kids. Aren't women hard enough on each other as it is? What works for one mom may not work for me. Is it really that big of a deal?
Also, all the body wars. Those suck. Pictures of heavy woman saying how hard it is for them to be skinny and their low self esteem. And then people picking on really skinny women, saying that they're not "real women" because they aren't as curvy.
It's just all so, so stupid.
I have more important things to worry about than what an acquaintance feels about the way I raise my children or the fact that I'm overweight.
Moving forward, I think I am going to really try to simplify my life. I've been becoming slightly obsessed with my body image, something I've never really worried about before and I think part of it is because of what I see on the internet/facebook/social media. And stress is never a good thing to hold onto when I am trying to get into shape to be a healthier person.
I'd like to try and just focus on what's most important: Rick, the kids, family, church and my health. I think sometimes I get so caught up with what everyone else is doing, I forget to live for myself. It's kind of hard for me to admit that.
I don't know---I feel like facebook can be such a wonderful tool, for sharing the gospel, keeping in touch with family and contacting people, but it has such an ugly side to it as well. And right now, I'm finding I don't have much time for ugly.
Since I was put in as primary president, I am constantly thinking about the church, the organization, the kids, the teachers, the program, etc. I've found that I have to prioritize things all day. So, Rick, Evan, Logan, Sadie and then church, including my calling, personal prayer and scripture study, and then my own health as well. That includes mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health.
I've always had pretty good self-esteem. My body is amazing, and I am so grateful to be such a healthy person, I just hate the pressure that our society seems to force on women to be thin. I've always held off on things, like kayaking, biking, or other physical activities "until I get thinner". I've been punishing myself for a number on the scale, something that doesn't define my self worth. I wish that sometimes I can see myself as Rick or my kids see me.
Anyways, this week I went through my closet. I've also been one to never dress all that stylishly, because I wanted to "wait until I'm a size _". Well, no more. HA HA. I am so impressed by the confidence shown by women on pinterest who post pictures of them in their outfits, and they are so cute and confident. I gathered all my clothes. The size 10 and 12 jeans were mocking me, along with all my other cute pre-pregnancy clothes. I took them to Plato's closet to see if they'd give me any money (ha ha...I got $20, that's it). I am just tired of looking frumpy and frazzled, and I am determined that I can look a lot nicer everyday.
I am planning on posting all of my new wardrobe finds (Rick is really, so sweet and kind, he is all for making me happy...so amazing). This girl's blog is so amazing. http://www.puttingmetogether.com/p/wardrobe-from-scratch-series.html I know what to look for now while I am shopping. Before I have just picked up what I liked without real thought of what it would go with. My goal is to get a good, minimalist wardrobe going, with clothes that I can use in a lot of different ways.
Anyways, this started as simplifying my life, and ended on how I am going to try and be more stylish. Sorry for the rambling. HA HA.
