YO, how long has it been since I’ve done a blog post? It feels like it’s been forever. To be honest, I love writing, and I have been writing, but a lot of it has been deleted or pushed to the side for now. I have many unpublished posts and even more books that I’ve written that I haven’t quite finished, but I will get to that later.
I thought I’d take a look back at this year and write down a few things that went well, and a few things that haven’t been great. 2022 hasn’t been an easy year for a lot of people, and I’m realizing, that’s just life? I feel like there are times of prosperity and times of scarcity in each of our lives, different seasons that we have to live through. As I’m currently working through this season in my life, knee deep in raising (as well as homeschooling) a still nursing 15 month old, a toddler, 3 elementary school aged children, and a teenager, all at the same time, I’m finding myself stretched and in that pulling and stretching, I can also feel myself growing.
Again, I feel like that might be a different blog post. As for now, I just wanted to write down five things that I’m either proud of myself for doing, or I’m thankful for.
1. Duolingo–Some people may laugh, but this is my favorite accomplishment that has been 100 percent for me this year. For the last few years, I’ve had a feeling that I should brush up on my Spanish. Obviously without much use, the Spanish that I learned in high school and college has become incredibly rusty. I decided to start using Duolingo, and I’m super happy to report that today is my 361 day streak! I plan on keeping up with it, because it’s been helping me a ton. I’ve been able to converse with Rick in Spanish a lot easier (we switch to Spanish when we are talking about things that we don’t want the kids to know about, mostly presents or other fun surprises). I’ve been able to think of the vocabulary I need to use much quicker. I’m still nowhere near ready to move to a Spanish speaking country, I think, but with a few more years, I’m sure I’ll be able to pick up on it easier.
2. Reading–I set a goal to read 50 books this year. This was another thing that was 100 percent for me. I love to read, and it’s difficult finding time to read. About 90% of the time, I get to read at night in bed. Sometimes I can ignore my kids while they’re awake and read then, but most of the time I’m too distracted by their chaos and demands to focus enough to read. I’ve read some good books, and I’ve read some stinkers. But overall, I’ve had a lot of fun. This has been the year of Agatha Christie. I started with the first Poirot novel and went through and read all of them until the very last one, which I’ve been waiting to read for a little bit because I’ve heard that it’s disappointing. Reading is “me” time though and I am glad that I was able to reach my goal and go past it a bit (I read 70 books this year!)
3. Come, Follow Me and Scripture Study–This year I’ve learned that little steps are incredibly important to reach your goals. And while I love the idea of sitting with my scriptures open, with a journal, pretty pencils, and a pen to write down impressions, that’s not really the season of life that I’m in. Instead, I found two apps that I use daily. The first app is Scriptures Plus, by the people that run Book of Mormon Central. I used their reading plans for the Old Testament study. Then I use the Come Follow Me Daily App for their Book of Mormon scheduled reading and General Conference study. Again, I’m not overly fond of reading my scriptures from the phone, but it is the best way that I can ensure that I get that little dose of spiritual renewal into my life, and that is what worked for me this year!
4. DC Temple Open House and Dedication–We loved being able to take the kids to the temple for the Open House in the spring. I also loved that we could take our three older kids with us (Sadie got baptized this year!) to the temple dedication. Both of the experiences were very spiritual and I’m so glad we were able to share them with our children.
5. Soccer–I volunteered to coach Sadie’s soccer team this year! This was definitely out of my comfort zone. I initially volunteered to be an assistant coach, but then there was an email about needing a head coach instead. I had to volunteer, mostly because I do like being in charge and I didn’t want someone telling the girls that the most important thing about playing soccer is being able to run (eye roll–I actually have heard that at one point from a coach) I paid some money to take the licensing course for her age group through the US Soccer Federation. I watched YouTube videos with different drills and ideas. I wasn’t sure about coaching a bunch of 8 and 9 year old girls, but it was so much fun! There was the occasional drama, but I really loved working with the girls. My goals were for them to improve their own game and for us to start playing together as a team. Towards the end of the season, I feel like they were all friends with each other, and really started to gel as a team. We even won the end of season tournament. I was hoping to coach next season too, but may not be able to since we will most likely be moving only a few months later.
6. I got help–This could probably be its own blog post. But back in January/February of this year, I was going through a tough time. There was a lot of anxiety, crying, and overall anger at everything. I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t let Lexi cry–it was like nails on chalkboard for me. I was a complete hot mess and felt like a total failure. Why couldn’t I have all my crap together like all those other people I know who totally seem like they know what they’re doing? Towards the end of February, one night I was really upset and crying to Rick about something–about how I hated a calling in the Church that I used to love. Rick was quiet, and then he asked me, “Have you thought all of these things that you’re feeling could be Postpartum Depression?” I was a little annoyed at first. Lexi was 5 months old by this time–why would I have Postpartum Depression? But, I quickly looked it up, and it can come up several months after giving birth still. I went to the doctor, and talked to her, and was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety. I got a prescription for what I like to call my “happy meds” and I’ve been doing much better. I do feel like I probably get Seasonal Depression as well. The other times that I’ve had really sad times has always seemed to be in the winter (my first winter at BYU-I, a couple of winters in Ohio), and I think it correlates with the lack of vitamin D as well. This year I have a happy lamp, and I’m consciously setting boundaries to take care of myself as well as my family. That’s even more difficult when you’re solo parenting, which I will be for a couple of months this year, but I’m confident I’ll be able to figure it out.
7. I got to go to California for my parent’s 50th Anniversary. The beach is my happy place, and it was so much fun seeing my family (and Rick’s family in Arizona as well).
1. My computer–my lovely red, beautiful laptop broke. I know it’s a material possession, and I know that my husband can get all of my work (writing) off of the hard drive, but it’s a pain in the butt that it broke. Ah, well. It doesn’t matter that much, I think.
2. My weight–I’ve pretty much regained all but 10 pounds of weight after having Lexi. That Gestational Diabetes diet had me losing close to 40 pounds when she was born. Then I could start eating whatever I wanted again, because my Postpartum Glucose Test came back normal.
3. PPD/PPA–I put this as a positive too, but honestly having it sucks. I don’t like that my brain and hormones didn’t bounce back like they usually do after having my babies.
4. Nathan’s dental work drama–The boy has been fighting tooth and nail against us. He used to get his dental work done with nitrous oxide, but he won’t let them do it anymore. We had to go through the work of finding another dentist, one who would do IV sedation for him. Well, he could only do it once a month, and the December appointment he didn’t make it to, because he was still sick with a respiratory illness. This is after he’s had a couple of rounds of antibiotics that he’s needed so that he can fight the infection from one of the teeth in particular that’s been bothering him. Crossing our fingers that he will be healthy enough in January to get it done.
5. Fall Sickness–We were sick pretty much the entire month of November and through the beginning of December with what we believe was RSV and Influenza A (Rick was actually tested for that one). Thankfully, we’ve all recovered and are pretty healthy, even though two of the kids ended up with ear infections and Rick ended up with a Post Viral Bronchitis from the Flu.
6. Losing my friend Tara–All of the above pales in comparison to losing a dear friend in such a tragic event. I still can’t wrap my head around not being able to see her again in this life. I mourn her life, and the lives of her three living children, who were all murdered. And I struggle everyday with the anger and confusion I feel towards her husband for what he did. No other difficulties that I’ve been having can really compare after I heard that news in September. So what if I have to pay extra money for Nathan’s dental work? Or that I’ve regained a lot of the weight I lost during pregnancy? (That sounds backwards). I’m still living and my kids and husband are still here as well.
And, here’s to 2023. Hopefully, our family can continue to make lemonade from the lemons that life throws at us all.
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